Q: (from “you know”)
a) Was it worth waiting to have sex until you got married?
b) What was it about Cautionary Lover that made you fall for him?
c) What is it about Cautionary Husband that made you stay?
d) How’s The Petite Bunny?
a) No. It wasn’t. I think that if Cautionary Husband and I had consummated our love when the passion we felt for each other was at its peak instead of waiting (nearly three years) until our wedding night, things would be very different now. As it is, I have no memory of a truly passionate sexual experience with him, and that’s making it difficult for me to imagine a truly exciting sexual future with him.
I’ve thought about this a lot, and I’ve decided that when/if I have children, I will urge them to wait until they’re in (requited) love with someone to have sex with them, but I will also urge them not to wait until marriage. I will want them to be safe and smart and responsible about it, but I will also want them to experience the physical manifestation of love when they feel the emotional manifestation of it, because it is a powerful thing and an important life experience.
b) I had a crush on Cautionary Lover for years but never acted on it because he’s married. His intelligence and charm and wit did me right in. I respected him a lot (and still do). When we began e-mailing and he actually seemed interested in me (ME!) and what I had to say, I was flattered and astounded and incredulous.
c) His capacity for forgiveness and the unconditional love he has for me. And the hope that we can find together the kind of love and intimacy I now know exists.
d) The Petite Bunny is my best friend. A common side-effect of Lexapro is anorgasmia, but I am pleased to report that I definitely do not suffer from this particular side-effect. 🙂